The Last Knights - Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Chapter 10

 After searching the body of the slain assassin of Xanathar's Guild, the Mystics of Trollskull Manor heard a knock at the south door of the checkpoint - the door leading deeper into the Undermountain. 

Tempus opened the door, "Yes?"

It was a dwarf fighter, two half-orc brothers, and a human woman of Shou descent. The dwarf spoke, "Yeah, uh, we're the Last Knights. We seek passage through this checkpoint to return to the surface." The dwarf saw the dead bodies of several thugs and bugbears lying on the floor in the room beyond, "But, um, I see there may be new arrangements?"

Tempus said, "Come on in. Did you have to pay a toll or something?"

One of the half-orcs said, "Yeah, we had to pay 25 gold each!" His brother elbowed him in the ribs, "Uh, I mean, no. We had an arrangement. We didn't have to pay no toll!"

Tempus allowed them to pass into the room, "We're the Mystics of Trollskull Manor."

The dwarf said, "Oh yeah, you're this season's contestants, yeah? How's it going?"

"We've barely made it to the third level. How about you?"

"We've made it down to the seventh level. We're headed back for a rest."

"Seventh level huh? Can you tell us what to expect?"

The dwarf looked offended, "Really? Were you not told?"

Winterfrost asked, "Told what?"

The human woman smiled, "I don't think they were told. They don't know."

The dwarf said, "We can't tell you what's coming next. Sorry."

Winterfrost became agitated, "Is this a new rule? How come nobody told us about these rules?"

"All I can say is, you'll find out. Anyway, pleased to meet you, I'm Kukunri Bonehide. These two bone-heads are Renobar and Atumar, they're brothers. And this is Chow Nie, our priestess. Like I said, we're the Last Knights, with a 'K'. Where are you headed? Up or down?"

Etlenda said, "We've had a rough day. We're headed back up."

"Great! Mind if we join you? We won't cause any trouble."

CHAPTER 10

"THE LAST KNIGHTS"

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor:

• Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
  
• Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
• Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
• Push-ta "Bearbite" Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
• Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond. 
• Glom the Wretched - Chaotic Neutral Goblin NPC, former thief and guide to the Arcane Chambers.

DM - Kem's player was absent this week. 

I quickly rolled up a party of four adventurers using the tables in the Companion.

Big Ears Watch Post

The combined parties returned through the Goblin Bazaar and ascended the stairs to the first level. There they encountered the checkpoint occupied by the Big Ears Bugbear troop with a handful of goblins. 

Tempus called up the stairs, asking for safe passage and letting the goblins know that they could expect protection if any conscripts wished to escape their bugbear overlords. 

The goblins scurried to warn the bugbears and set up ambush points. Etlenda, riding his spirit wolf, charged into the center of the room where he was peppered with small arrows. Hu-man Patty Johnson ran off after one of the goblins who disappeared down a side corridor, pleading with him in the goblin language. Winterfrost started to follow Hu-man Patty Johnson but was forced to abandon her and help defend her companion Etlenda. 

Etlenda took great pains to use the flat of his blade against the goblins, hoping to show mercy against those who were coerced to fight but prepared to defend himself should they pose a threat.

A group of bugbears emerged from the back room. Tempus threw a magical fireball into their midst, devastating them. 

Bearbite hugged the wall to the right, keeping a low profile and eliminating goblins and bugbears with deadly and efficient stealth.

A bugbear broke ranks and ran down the corridor in the back left corner. A moment later the sound of giants could be heard lumbering down the hall. A pair of fat two-headed giants known as ettins entered the room. Etlenda and Winterfrost tried to hold them at the back corner but they were too far away and both managed to gain entry. 

Tempus said a prayer and became a beacon of holy light, bathing his companions in his radiant support.

Meanwhile, a bugbear and a goblin in the back right corner attacked Hu-man Patty Johnson as they emerged from the side corridor. She was in danger but managed to flee to the safety of Tempus' aura. 

Bearbite made short work of the bugbear and goblin that harried his friend. They never even knew from where their death had come.

There was a pitched battle but the ettins, bugbears, and goblins were soon defeated. 

The Last Knights emerged from the stairs, "Is it safe?"

"Yes! We killed them all!" replied Winterfrost.

"We usually just pay the toll and avoid the fight. We don't want no trouble with Xanathar's Guild. Okay, if you're going to stick around, we'll just head up. We'll see you on the surface."

Winterfrost led the others as they explored the corridor in the back. It led to a dead end. Several side passages promised additional space and other mysteries but Winterfrost had already grown weary of the diversion, "I'm done. Let's head back."

The Secret Room

On their way out they passed into the corridor decorated with bas reliefs of demons. The dead body that once lay on the ground, pointing towards one of the bas reliefs, was gone. A chalk arrow on the wall pointed to one of the carvings. 

Though they had passed this way several times the party now decided to investigate. They found a secret door behind the carving leading to a winding rough hewn passage that descended sharply. The passage opened into a room that was tilted and flooded with sewage. A statue of a sahuagin fish-man rose from the muck to the right - its head turned backward. 

Winterfrost called Bearbite forward, "Think you can climb over the muck and check out that statue?"

Bearbite rubbed his half-orc chin, "Maybe?"

Winterfrost dug through her backpack and produced a potion, "Here, drink this. It's a potion of spider climbing."

"Sweet!" Bearbite drank the potion and clambered across the wall and ceiling like a spider. He reached the statue and found that its head unscrewed from the body. He removed the head and saw that it was hollow with two emplacements to mount candles. When lit the candles would appear to make the eyes of the statue glow. 

Suddenly there was a ripple in the water and Bearbite was struck with a painful splitting headache! He looked down and saw an amorphous gray mass rising up out of the water, climbing the statue towards him. 

"Yeah, fuck that!" He said as he quickly scrambled back to the others in the corridor, "We're leaving."

They abandoned the room and returned to the well at the bottom of the Yawning Portal. 

Vandalized House

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor returned to their home just after noon to find it vandalized. The outside walls were covered in graffiti. The door to the first floor had been broken open, the furniture and fixtures in what they were planning to be a sitting room had been busted. However, there appeared to had been a fight. There was blood on the floor, articles of clothing, and other little signs indicating that the intruders had met a encountered a surprise reception that chased them away. Tempus knocked on the bar and called out to the poltergeist that dwelled there, "Thank you. It won't happen again!" Three knocks answered back. 

Tempus began the work of cleaning up the mess while Winterfrost and Bearbite showed Hu-man Patty Johnson the house.

There was a knock at the open door of the bar/sitting room. It was Emmek Frewn, owner of the tavern across the street. He told Tempus that the vandalization had occurred several nights ago while they were down below. He knew it was Xanathar's Guild because several of their human thugs had been hanging out at his tavern while they cased the manor. They were trouble and he didn't want anything to do with the Guild. 

"Look, if you want, I know some wee fellahs who make good guards. They're a gang of halflings from down in he South Ward, named the Shard Shunners. I've got an in with them and I can make an introduction, if ye want. They don't come cheap but they've got special skills."

"Wait," said Tempus, "The Shard Shunners, aren't they were-rats?"

"Well, I don't know nothin' about that. But they got some - special - skills that make them worth every gold dragon."

"Thanks. We'll think about it."

Poo-poo Holes

Meanwhile, Hu-man Patty Johnson was getting a tour of the house. She had never seen such luxury before! Individuals got their own rooms! They lived like kings! However, the feature that impressed her the most was when Bearbite showed her the indoor privy. 

"Wait," she said, amazed, "What - is - that?"

"That's the privy," said Bearbite proudly, "You do your poopy and pee-pee business in the hole, pour in a pail of water, then turn this thing here. It goes away into some pipes."

"Hold on hold on," she said, her eyes closed, "You no go poop at end of hall or in empty room?"

"No, ma'am. You poop in here."

"You poop. In the hole."

"Yes, and pee too."

She was stunned.

They crossed the hall and Bearbite showed her the other privy.

"Wait wait wait. There are TWO poo-poo holes?"

Bearbite nodded.

"Such DECADENCE! You - I mean we humans live like KINGS!"

Taking Care of Business

After the tour, Etlenda gathered the group together for a team meeting. They gathered together all the loot and treasure accumulated from the Undermountain. 

"It's not a lot," complained Etlenda.

After decided who kept what and providing estimates on how long it would take to transcribe the spells from the spellbooks they had acquired, Etlenda took the excess magical artifacts to his buyer,  Obaya Uday. He returned with gold which he divided among the team - even giving a share to Hu-man Patty Johnson - 43 gold coins, the most treasure she had ever seen in her life.

Afterwards they talked about hiring guards to watch the house while they were in the mountain. Tempus mentioned the Shard Shunners. Bearbite, however, said he had contacts through "the Caravan Guild" - his codeword for the Zhentarim syndicate for which he worked - and could get guards at a discount.

The team did the math and decided to hire Bearbite's guards - ten armed guards and ten unskilled men to watch the house in three eight hour shifts - at a total cost of 3 gold pieces a day for five weeks. 

After the meeting, Hu-man Patty Johnson sat staring at her pile of gold coins. Winterfrost saw this and said, "Hey, put your gold in a sack. We're going shopping!"

"We go what?" 

Shopping Montage

DM - What followed was what my players described as a shopping montage. Various boutiques, trying on clothes, harried clerks and seamstresses, getting their hair done, the whole thing. 

Winterfrost took Hu-man Patty Johnson on a whirlwind tour through Waterdeep's Trades Ward. Winterfrost spent her own money to purchase the latest fashions and accessories for the goblin-turned-human. 

While they were out, she ran into Lady Remallia Haventree, the lady of House Ulbrinter and leader of the spies known as the Harpers. Winterfrost introduced Hu-man Patty Johnson to the esteemed elven lady.

Hu-man Patty Johnson, a stunning human beauty wearing her new dress, stood straight and thrust out her stiff arm to shake Lady Haventree's hand, "HALLO LADY! I AM HUMAN PATTY JOHNSON!"

"Yes," was the refined response, "I'm sure you are. Anyway, Winterfrost, I'm having a little party at my villa in two days. I'd like it if you and your - ah - companions could join us. I fear a drow spy may try to infiltrate our little circle of performers and I would like you and your companions to root them out. This will be a glamorous event, so please dress sharply. If you are concerned about any of your friends - ah - not fitting in with high society, there will be refreshments served in the garden for the more - ah - outdoorsy types where they can feel more comfortable."

"The what now?" said Winterfrost, suddenly on edge.

"You know - that tall orcine fellow, the eladrin with the wolf pelt who I'm told sleeps on the floor in your cellar, and the orcine woman who works in the forge. I forget their names."

DM - I think I laid on the snootiness a little too thick. I wasn't trying to sound snobby or make her sound racist - I was legitimately trying to give an option for characters like Bearbite - a member of an underworld crime syndicate - and Etlenda - who was LITERALLY RAISED IN A CAVE BY WOLVES to participate. But boy did Winterfrost's player take it as snobby casual racism, but I honestly can't blame him. I did use the term "orcine", which I thought would be a polite euphemism for "half-orc", but REALLY came out sounding fantasy-racist.

"Understood. I'll have to check with my team, of course, but I think we can do this."

"Excellent. I'll send my raven by tonight to get your answer."

Hu-man Patty Johnson's eyes got big, "We go on mission to fancy lady house?"

Winterfrost seethed a little at the implication that her companions could not fit in with polite society, "Yes, Patty. I think we will. We're going to need to buy "

To Be Continued...

Next week - Spy Party!

Xanathar Sends His Regards - Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Chapter 9

 

The cavern in which the party stood began to fade away into an indistinct fog. They were standing on a black sound stage with no edges. In the center of the stage was Halaster Blackcloak, sitting in a comfortable chair next to a free-standing fireplace. He was reading a book. The old wizard lowered his book when he noticed the newcomers, "Ah! Contestants! Triumph! Glory! Inevitable death! These await you, but come, stay awhile and listen." 

A force manipulated the Mystics of Trollskull Manor, moving them before the hearth.

"You've descended to the ruins of Stromkuhldur, bastion of the ancient Melairkyn dwarves. Here they eked out their small, little lives. Bright lives in the darkness. Before that darkness swallowed them whole. To this day the veterans of that ancient war lay siege to these ruins. The vile drow of House Auvryndar war against the Legion of Azrok for control of these ruins so that they may seize Skullport, perhaps even Waterdeep itself. It's up to you to strike at the drow—or leave them to their devices. History has shown them to be a stubborn, sadistic lot, so I'm sure it'll all work out."

"Within this shattered city two factions wage battle. One one end are the hobgoblins of the Legion of Azrok. On the other, the drow, led by a priestess named T'rissa Auvryndar, who has orders to secure the city for her noble house."

"I'm implementing a new feature of my challenge. On each level of my Undermountain you will face one of my tasks. You bypassed my task in the Arcane Chambers. I was very disappointed. That was why I decided to add this new requirement - you can't proceed to the next level until you overcome the task for that level! On some levels, I will give you a task directly. On others, you must seek it out."

"In this case, I'll give you a direct task - kill T'rissa Auvryndar and rout her forces in Drow Town. Once you've done that, cast her holy symbol of Lolth into the River Sargauth. I promise you a reward of great power if you succeed."

"Okay, you guys got this! I'm really rooting for you! Good luck!"

The room disappeared, leaving them where they started.

CHAPTER 9

"XANATHAR SENDS HIS REGARDS"

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor:

• Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
  
• Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
• Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
• Push-ta "Bearbite" Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
• Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond. 
• Glom the Wretched - Chaotic Neutral Goblin NPC, former thief and guide to the Arcane Chambers.

DM - Kem's player was absent this week. 

Webbed Tunnels

The party left the catacombs through a passage that led towards the southeast. The passage branched - one path led south while a rougher tunnel led east. The eastern tunnel was draped in white spider webs. 

Winterfrost led the party into the spider tunnels. The spider tunnel snaked around to a roughly northern direction while a side tunnel led to the southeast. 

Bearbite spotted some movement in a cavern at the end of the north passage. He saw a furred man-beast - a cross between a gorilla and a bear - dart across his narrow field of view.

Bearbite charged into the room after the man-beast but quickly found himself surrounded by three other man-beasts who had been hiding in ambush. The four man-bears tore into the half-orc rogue. 

The rest of the party soon followed Bearbite into the chamber and made short work of the creatures. One managed to flee but was quickly chased down and dispatched by Tempus and his bolts of magic fire.

The Goblin

The party then explored the side passage to the southeast. The webbing grew thicker and one could begin to make out strange shapes within the strands - eyeballs. They found a cavern covered in thick webs. Oblong cocoons were suspended from webbing along the walls and ceiling. Another passage led to a larger chamber. The party looked within the larger chamber without entering, it was empty. They were hesitant to enter.

Behind them, hue-monn woman Patty Johnson - formerly goblin Glom the Wretched - noticed movement within one of the cocoons. 

The retreated from the side chamber and cut down the cocoon. Within they found a goblin - he was emaciated and his tongue was cut out. There was a swollen lump in his neck. The party deduced it was an implanted egg that would erupt outward. 

The goblin, unable to speak, pleaded for his life. Etlenda said a prayer and passed his hands over the swollen neck. A gelatinous egg splurted out and hit the floor. The semi-transparent egg was filled with tiny wriggling spiders. Tempus burned the egg with arcane fire.

DM - I decided to treat the implanted spider egg, a detail from the Companion book which was not really given rules, like the egg implanted by a Slaad - as a disease. So Etlenda's "Cure Disease" feature of Lay on Hands was able to remove the egg. 

My Vengeance is Eternal

The party decided to return the emaciated goblin to the goblin bazaar. They retraced their steps through the catacombs to the stairs and began their ascent.

They passed the long hallway with the animated ballistae and opened the door to what had been, up until twelve hours or so ago, a guard post manned by the Xanathar's Guild. 

On the other side of the door was the revenant - Halleth Garke. With him was a zombie dwarf - the animated remains of Copper Stormforge. Halleth saw the Mystics of Trollskull Manor standing before him. His eyes glowed red with rage as anger overtook him, "YOU PEOPLE! You left me to rot in that pit! All I asked for was a little help. All I needed was for you to lower a rope. Had you let me out, I'd have left you, THANKED you even, and set off on my quest for righteous vengeance! I only asked for the revenge that was rightfully mine! And you LEFT ME THERE TO ROT! On that day I swore vengeance, not just on the Fine Fellows of Daggerford for murdering me - BUT ON YOU!"

Winterfrost sent a lasso of lightning at the revenant in an attempt to draw it closer. It batted away the lightning like a toy. Bearbite summoned forth a magical great club composed of shadow and hurled it at the revenant. It had little effect. 

The revenant glared at Winterfrost, its glowing eyes searing into her soul. For a moment, she froze. Tempus shouted, "No!" and broke the spell. Winterfrost looked away.

Etlenda, mounted on his giant spirit wolf, charged the zombie. The wolf knocked it down, raking it with its lupine claws.  Etlenda slashed at the revenant, carving a mighty swath in its torso.

DM - Natural 20! 20 slashing from the sword, 30 slashing from the smite, and another 4 from something, I don't remember. 54 points of damage!

The zombie, however, continued to move. Tempus sent a bolt of arcane fire at the undead dwarf. Winterfrost began chopping the zombie with her greataxe - chopping - chopping - chopping! Eventually she had dismembered the zombie and it ceased moving.

The revenant of Halleth Garke turned its ire on the elven warrior-maiden. He punched Winterfrost with his bare fist, almost knocking her to the ground. He punched her again - hard.

DM - 9 bludgeoning from the slam plus another 15 from the vengeance. 16 more from the second slam plus 20 from the vengeance. 60 points of damage in one round!

Winterfrost fell to the ground, dying.

Etlenda, enraged, slashed at the revenant once more while Tempus sent a bolt of arcane fire. Halleth arched his back as he became consumed by flames. It stood and pointed at Tempus, "You have defeated me, but I will return! MY VENGEANCE IS ETERNAL!"

It crumbled to burning cinders, leaving nothing but ash and smoke.

A moment later, Winterfrost inhaled a sudden deep breath and regained consciousness. She coughed, "Wha- What happened?"

DM - She rolled a natural 20 on her death save and woke up with 1 hit point.

Return to the Goblin Bazaar

The party found its way back to the flea market that was the Goblin Bazaar. They obtained secure sleeping rooms for when they got tired, got some baths, and did some shopping to replenish the crossbow bolts and other sundries. 

The squad of hobgoblin soldiers was still present. The walls were plastered with paper bills in various languages:

THE LEGION OF AZROK NEEDS YOU!

Azrok's Hold is a haven for the downtrodden and mistreated who would otherwise face persecution on the surface. Pariahs, outcasts, join the legion! We promise safe harbor to all who dedicate themselves to creating out a lasting kingdom for goblinoids.

They spoke to the squad's hobgoblin leader, Captain Daronok. From the captain they learned that the ancient ruined city of Stromkuhldur had been resettled by Azrok as a haven for hobgoblins, bugbears, and goblins. However, that haven had recently come under attack by the vile drow of House Auvryndar. Warlord Azrok, an honorable warrior and savior of his people, had therefore issued a call-to-arms, promising glory and gold to those that aid the Legion, regardless of race.

He implored the Mystics to join in the cause, promising them safe passage to Stromkuhldur if they pledged their service to fight the drow.

The party considered the offer but inquired after the amount of obligation required. Captain Daronok said that they must swear a binding oath to Warlord Azrok, an oath that the captain did not take lightly, and join them in their assault against the drow.

The party declined. Daranok said they would be recruiting in the bazaar for another four days if they changed their mind.

The party took some time off, studied, practiced, recuperated.  

DM - you can only benefit from a full rest once every 24 hours, and they had only spent maybe two hours since their last full rest, so they had some time to kill. 

Yek the No-Longer-Tall confronted Tempus about the Circlet of Human Perfection - which was currently worn by Hu-man Patty Johnson - aka Glom the Wretched. Yek wanted to buy it back. 

Tempus told Yek that it had been stolen by some drow on the next lower level. Yek was furious. He turned to Captain Daronok, helping him by convincing other goblins to join the cause, kill the drow, and return his circlet to him!

The Heist

After a full rest, the party prepared to continue their foray into the Undermountain. Bearbite caught Hu-man Patty Johnson leaning on a wall watching the guarded entrance to Yek's treasure vault. Bearbite sidled up to her and asked what she was doing.

Hu-man Patty Johnson nodded her beautiful face at the vault, telling Bearbite that Yek kept all his treasures in there and that it was only guarded by two lowly goblin guards. She said a real "caravan guard" would help her see what was inside.

Bearbite demurred. He didn't want to cause any waves with their host. 

Hu-man Patty Johnson sneered, "Bah. A REAL goblin would not think twice about taking a look inside vault. A REAL goblin would help me."

"Look," said Bearbite, "I'm not like that."

"Not like that??" said Hu-man Patty Johnson in disgust, "Is that half-a-orc Push-ta talking or is that REAL GOBLIN Bearbite talking?"

Bearbite's eyes narrows and his lips pursed. He beared his tusks. "Okay, fine! I'm in! What's your plan?"

DM - THAT hooked him! The players are SO PROUD of their goblin names. Using it against him was glorious!

Hu-man Patty Johnson said, "Just two guards. We need to distract and sneak past."

Bearbite grinned, "I've got an idea."

Bearbite found a nearby goblin and had Hu-man Patty Johnson translate = he paid the goblin a gold coin to go bother the guards and distract them. The gold coin was more money than the goblin would see in months, so he agreed. 

The goblin was soon tugging on the guard, pulling, and calling for help. The guard became annoyed and pushed the goblin away. The goblin got back back up and redoubled his efforts, causing the second guard to intervene.

In the ensuing confusion, Real Goblin Bearbite and Hu-man Patty Johnson snuck past. The door at the end of the short corridor was unlocked. They slipped inside and closed the door behind them.

Within they found a collection of oddities!

Along the east wall was a life-sized diorama of a battle between goblins - made of actual goblin skins stretched over mannequins - with a beholder suspended from the ceiling by wires - likewise made of actual beholder skin stretched over a mannequin. The goblins wore glittering jewelry. 

On the north wall was a nine foot tall painting of Yek in his beautiful human form. 

In one corner was a chest - unlocked and unprotected. The chest was filled with hundreds of silver coins - the most common currency found in the Goblin Bazaar.

Hu-man Patty Johnson's green eyes grew wide as she smiled. She scooped her hands into the silver treasure. 

"Quickly," she said, "give me magic bag!"

"A what?" said Bearbite, confused.

"A magic bag! Pretty man has one, scary elf lady has one, stupid man has one. Don't all of you have one?"

DM - Tempus' player realized he was the "stupid man" in this description and said, "Hey!"

"No! I don't have a magic bag! Put the treasure in your pockets!"

Hu-man Patty Johnson stood up to show off her tattered goblin rags that barely covered her shapely human hips and ample breasts, "Where I have pockets?"

"Then just take what you can carry in your hands and let's go!"

"Fine!" Hu-man Patty Johnson also took some jewelry off the mannequins and hung them around her neck.

Bearbite counted out exactly ten silver pieces and stood up. 

Hu-man Patty Johnson said, "Is that all? Why so little?"

Bearbite brushed off his shirt, "Just a token to recoup my losses."

They quickly exited, slipped past the guards, and gave the hired goblin the signal that his services were no longer needed.

Bearbite and Hu-man Patty Johnson rejoined the party as they were ready to leave.

"Where have you been?" asked Winterfrost.

"Nothing. Let's go." said a hurried Bearbite.

DM - Later, I told Bearbite's player, "I just realized you spent a gold and took only 10 silver. You broke even."

He said, "I was wondering when you were going to notice that."

The Guild Checkpoint

The party returned to the checkpoint once operated by Xanathar's goons - where they had yesterday defeated the revenant Halleth Garke. As they turned the corner at the entrance, Bearbite sensed an ambush. He saw two goons armed with crossbows guarding the southern door. He also sensed a bugbear hiding on the other side of the entrance. 

He allowed Etlenda and Winterfrost to charge into the room. They took the brunt of several bugbear attacks. Bearbite threw his shadow-club at an enemy while Winterfrost used her lightning lure to draw a bugbear closer. 

The goons with crossbows loosed quarrels at the intruders while two more goons emerged from around the corner to guard the crossbowmen.

Suddenly, a tiny goblin clad in black, his face covered in wrappings, stepped out of hiding from around the far corner and loosed some crossbow bolts with deadly accuracy, only to disappear once more around the corner.

DM - At this point, around 10:00pm, Discord failed for several of us. We lost sound. Luckily it came back after about 15 minutes.

The Goblin Assassin

The assassin's crossbow bolt struck Bearbite with deadly accuracy!

DM - I rolled a natural 20! 12 piercing + 50 poison (save for half). Tempus used his Chronal Shift ability to force me to reroll. I rolled again. A NATURAL 20! This time for 10 piercing + 51 poison (save for half) + 27 sneak attack! That's 91 points of damage! 

Bearbite staggered!

DM - Bearbite, being a half-orc, was reduced to 1 hit point instead.

Meanwhile the party worked on the bugbears surrounding them while Winterfrost and Tempus pushed towards the goons guarding the door. 

Etlenda charged into the next room in pursuit of the goblin assassin. The assassin threw down his crossbow, drew his short sword, and stabbed the Eladin paladin in the spleen!

DM - I rolled a THIRD NATURAL 20! 11 piercing + 51 poison (save for half) + 24 sneak attack damage! That's 86 points of damage! 

Etlenda fell off his wolf to the ground, unconscious and bleeding. 

DM - at this point the players were starting to feel nervous.

Winterfrost and Tempus finished off all but one of the door guards and withdrew. Bearbite retreated from the fight to stand near Kem and hu-man Patty Johnson. There he drank a healing potion to replenish his vigor.

Tempus said a prayer of healing for Etlenda. The paladin got up and re-mounted his spirit wolf.

Winterfrost used her lightning lure to pull the goblin assassin towards her. The assassin was trapped, unable to escape! 

DM - Winterfrost has the Sentinel feat. The goblin provokes opportunity attacks even if it tried to escape. Winterfrost was also now in the room with him, he had no place to hide!

The goblin retaliated by stabbing Winterfrost! 

DM - Only 8 piercing + 17 poison this time. No more criticals. No more sneak attack. 

The lone surviving goon pressed his attack against Tempus who was trying to aid the others against the goblin assassin. Tempus' bat familiar, Edward, stood between them. 

Tempus turned and saw the goon eyeing Edward, "Don't you dare!"

The goon smashed Edward with his mace.

Tempus became angry and pointed at the goons, "You fucker! That's the last mistake you'll ever make!"

The goblin assassin managed to escape and run towards the secret door in the back of the room. He opened the door but Winterfrost, Etlenda caught up with him. Tempus reluctantly left the goon that killed his bat to help chase down the goblin.

Etlenda's spirit wolf trampled the goblin while the others stabbed him to death. 

Bearbite took out the goon with his magical shadow-truncheon.

They turned the goblin over to search him. On his head was tattooed a circle with radiating lines with a red dot in the center - the symbol of Xanathar's Guild. They found a folded piece of paper with printed lettering - 

BOUNTY

THE MYSTICS OF TROLLSKULL MANOR

KILL ON SIGHT!

GENEROUS REWARD

 

The goblin smiled, blood bubbled out of his mouth as he used his last breath to say, "Xanathar sends his regards..."

To be Continued...

I am the Modron Man! - Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Chapter 8

 

As the music faded, the party decided to explore the door to the south. There they found a wide gallery decorated with walls bas reliefs of Dwarves at work. The bas reliefs had been magically defaced - warped so that strange stone tentacles sprouted from the walls. 

The massive double-doors at the end of the gallery were watched over by the statues of two dwarven warriors, cut into the wall and flanking the door. They opened a door to the south.

Beyond the door was a room with walls painted with murals of elves in a forest with no leaves. In the center of the room were  four pillars of white marble, each shaped in the likeness of a stoic female elf in flowing robes with a flowering branch clutched to her chest. The caryatids faced inward.

Around the pillars marched a bizarre creature - a golden cube with long multi-jointed arms and legs and tiny mechanical wings. On the front of the cube was a mechanical face. It marched with military precision, counting off its paces, and holding its golden bow and arrow ready. 

It turned as the party entered, drawing its bow and shouting, "Halt! Come no further! What are your intentions?"

CHAPTER 8

"I AM THE MODRON MAN"

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor:

• Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
  
• Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
• Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
• Push-ta "Bearbite" Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
• Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond. 
• Glom the Wretched - Chaotic Neutral Goblin NPC, former thief and guide to the Arcane Chambers.

DM - Thanks to Jim Milligan for the idea for this episode's title.

Halastron

"Uh, we're looking for Halaster the Mad Mage. Is he here?" said Etlenda.

"Obviously not! Do you mean to cause any damage to the statues?" said the cube-being, still aiming its child-size bow and arrow at the party.

"No, of course not!" replied Etlenda.

"Oh," said the cube creature, lowering its weapon, "Then carry on as you were." It continued to march in a circle around the four figurative pillars, counting out its steps, "1-2-3-4-5-6-right face!"

The party began asking the cube-creature questions. They soon learned that its name was Halastron and that it was tasked by its creator, Halaster, to guard the pillars. As long as they had no intention of harming the pillars, Halastron had no interest in anything they did. 

"So, can we just, like, go past? Like, down that hall over there?" asked Push-ta warily.

"I care not. Do as you wish!" was Halastron's reply.

Creature Storage

The party moved past the pillars to the corridor to the east. Winterfrost, out of curiosity, went and stood between the pillars. Halastron stopped and aimed an arrow at the elven warrior. When nothing happened, Winterfrost rejoined the party. Halastron returned to its march. 

The corridor contained over a dozen small cells. Within each cell were groups of highly detailed stone statues:

• four humanoid frog creatures
• one boar
• one constrictor snake
• three gricks
• one kenku
• two elves wearing spider-themed clothing 
• one lizardfolk  
• one mind flayer
• four rust monsters
• one hunched humanoid creature with a single large eye
• five troglodytes
• one orc war chief
• one giant badger
• one humanoid bear creature
• six goats
• one surprised human female

The figures were obviously beings that had been turned to stone by some magic.

They returned to the mail hall and asked Halastron about the statues. Halastron said, "Oh, the master brings them in from time to time. He stores them here until he needs them. Then places the statue between the pillars to reanimate them. I thought that was why you were here. Didn't you want to reanimate one?"

"No, thank you." answered Etlenda, "What's behind that other door?"

Halastron replied, "I have no idea."

Push-ta put his ear to the door and listened.

"What is it? What do you hear?" asked Winterfrost.

"It sounds like a bear hooting!"

Owlbear Storage

Push-ta opened the door, a short entry corridor led to the left. He stealthily crept down the corridor and looked into the room beyond. It was an ancient elven crypt - several crypts had been knocked over and broken. Four large owl-bears hungrily rooted around the room in search of food.

Push-ta returned to report what he saw. The party made a plan to dispatch the owlbears. Push-ta turned to charge into the room. Winterfrost grabbed him by the back of his armor, "What are you doing?" she hissed, "If you go charging in, you'll be separated from my and Etlenda's protection. Go in, attack one with a crossbow, then get back here behind us."

Push-ta re-entered the room and took a pot-shot at an owlbear with his crossbow. He withdrew behind Etlenda and Winterfrost just as the enraged owlbear gave chase. 

Kem said a prayer and dozens of spiritual hammers sprang into existence around her and attacked the owlbear. 

Glom stepped up next to Kem and let a stone fly from her sling. It struck the owlbear in the head, killing it. Etlenda, Winterfrost, Push-ta, Kem, and Tempus showered the goblin with praise! She beamed with pride. 

DM- Glom scored a critical hit with her sling stone, killing the owlbear and impressing everyone.

The other three owlbears joined the fight. A brutal fight ensued near the entrance but ultimately the owlbears were slain. 

Patty Johnson

The team was so happy with Glom's performance they told her she was to be admitted into their human tribe as a honorary human. They bestowed upon her the human name "Patty Johnson". 

Halaster's Crushing Eye

A passage led south out of an alcove in the west wall of the burial crypt. The passage turned west then turned north. The north passage sloped upward at an incline.

Etlenda said, "You know what this means."

Winterfrost said, "Yep. Push-ta, look for pressure plates or traps."

Push-ta led the way, looking closely at the floor and walls. Halfway up the corridor he felt the floor give slightly under his feet. He heard a click and, from around the corner at the end of the corridor, a door slide open. 

Push-ta realized what he had done, "Oh. Shit." 

There was a heavy rolling sound followed by a loud bang, then more rolling. A giant ten-foot diameter stone sphere rolled around the corner, hit the wall at the end of the corridor, then started rolling towards them, gaining momentum. 

The party immediately turned and ran. Etlenda grabbed Glom off the floor and put her on the back of his spirit wolf. They stayed in front of the ball as they retreated to the crypt chamber. The ball hit the wall at the bottom of the sloped corridor before disappearing behind two concealed doors. The party could hear the sound of machinery as the ball was rolled back to the top and the trap was reset.

Push-ta tried again, alone this time, creeping slowly up the corridor. This time he found the pressure plate concealed under a flagstone. He needed something to spike it to keep it from being depressed. He had no spikes - having lost his to the magic door earlier - so he tried crossbow quarrels. He broke the heads off the shafts and squeezed them under the flagstone like shims. He needed more, so he asked everyone to give up their crossbow quarrels. They did so and he eventually had enough jammed into the trap to prevent its activation.  

DM - Push-ta player asked if he could use crossbow quarrels instead. I said sure but he'd have to sacrifice every crossbow in the party inventory. 

Bloodletting Chamber

At the top of the corridor and around the corner, they found a room with stone tables. The tables were used for draining blood from creatures into catch basins. A thorough search of this room found nothing.

Abandoned Study

Past the bloodletting chamber they found a small area that had been converted into a makeshift study. The lid of a crypt had been placed atop some blocks to make a desk. There were old books and notes stacked on the desk. Elven funerary urns were piled up in a corner, having been removed from their shelf where books now sat stacked. 

Winterfrost and Push-ta examined the urns but were careful not to disturb the contents out of respect for the dead. 

Winterfrost noticed some loose stones in the corner. She removed them and was surprised to find a hidden chamber. Floating in the middle of the chamber was a spherical creature like a beholder, but only the size of a cantaloupe and with only four eye stalks. 

The creature said Hello and introduced itself. It told them that it had been sealed up in that chamber for a very long time after its master, a wizard student of Halaster, had been caught drinking instead of studying. Its master was banished to a pocket dimension while Halaster had the beholderkin walled up. 

They informed the beholderkin that they had met its master, Kalabash, but had sent him back to the pocket dimension. They also told it its master was a dick.

"I know, right! Oh, it's so good to be able to say that! After the first one hundred years, I was bound to follow his orders and worship him like a god, but now I'm free! I can say whatever I want! Do whatever I want! Go wherever I want!"

They let the beholderkin know it was welcome to join their party. It replied, "Nope! I'm free! I just want to go explore now." 

They stood aside and told it it was free to go.  

The Hall of Dragons

The party retraced their steps to the long hall with the defaced bas reliefs. They opened the large doors flanked by statues of dwarven guardians. Within they found a T-shaped gallery with massive dragon skeletons  held together with wire, plaster, and supports. One of the statues had long ago collapsed. Each dragon represented one of the metallic breeds of dragons. 

After a thorough search they moved to the exit at the rear. A corridor led to a small shrine to the Dwarven gods. Within they found the long-dead remains of a tiefling adventurer. 

After consecrating the remains and removing them from the shrine, the party decided it was time to rest. They spent an hour studying newly acquired magical items, praying, eating, studying books, etc. Kem fashioned some new iron spikes out of some scrap metal. Winterfrost used the spikes to set up some hammocks they had obtained. Everyone slept comfortably within the hammocks - everyone but Winterfrost who was beset by nightmares. 

DM - When in a dungeon, wilderness, or other uncomfortable setting, I have my players make a Survival roll vs. 10 to determine if they actually benefit from a long rest. They need a bedroll and blanket for a straight roll, Disadvantage if they are lying down on the bare floor, Advantage if they have things like hammocks, silk pillows, etc. In this case they rolled with Advantage because of the hammocks and secure location, but Winterfrost still failed. 

Down the Stairs

After a rest, the party roused and gathered their things. They mustered near the stairs leading down and held a vote - continue exploring the second level or proceed down to the third level? They decided to descend.

They also decided to give Glom the Circlet of Human Perfection to go with her human name. 

DM - After descending, they leveled up!

Dwarven Catacombs

They descended a long stair that turned south. At the bottom they could go east or west. They chose east and found themselves in an ancient Dwarven ossuary devoted to the god Dumathoin. 

Dead Adventurer

At the back of the catacombs they found a burrow. Inside the burrow they found the partially rotten remains of a dead adventurer - the remnants of his face twisted into a silent scream. Winterfrost found a locket on the body. The locket bore the image of an elf she knew from the Yawning Portal. This, she knew, was the body of his lover. She took the locket to return to the elf in the locket.

More Gricks

The party explored a small tunnel in the back of the burrow - forcing them onto their hands and knees in places. They emerged into a dug out chamber. Etlenda spotted a section of wall shifting slightly on the far side of the chamber.

"Grick!" he shouted, pointing.

"I hate these things!" said Winterfrost. Suddenly a grick dropped from its hiding place above her and attacked. 

The other grick moved from its hiding place to a spot out of sight to the right. Etlenda and the others entered the cavern to attack it. Etlenda was set upon by a third grick that was hiding on the ceiling. 

Winterfrost dispatched the grick attacking her while the others moved to help Etlenda. All three gricks were soon dead.

To Be Continued...

DM - Kem's player is an architect in real life and she's been using the drafting software on her computer to live-map the dungeon as they go. Here's her map of Level 2 she shared with our group. She has the measuring tool out constantly, darting around the map as we play.

Dead Eyes - Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Chapter 7

 

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor planned their next move. Etlenda took Glom the Wretched aside, "Glom, you said you  knew how to find the stairs down to the next lower level?"

"Yes. Yes. Glom know. But too dangerous. You go back to surface, yes?"

"No, Glom. You're going to take us to the stairs going down."

Glom sighed, defeated, "Okay. Glom show you. But very dangerous! You not go!"

Glom led them back to the hall of the Goblin Bazaar. As they entered, Etlenda held up his arms in triumphant return. He waited for all the goblins to hail his return with a cry of "Pigmud!" Instead, his return was met with a momentary pause in the normal proceedings punctuated with a single cough. The goblins shrugged and returned to their regular work.

Tempus noticed that Copper Stoneforge was missing - he had chained the dwarf prisoner there only a few hours earlier and hired goblins to watch him. "What? Where'd he go? Dammit!" 

Tempus angrily tried to get the attention of goblin passers by, demanding to know what happened to Copper Stoneforge, but none of the goblins appeared to understand Common. Tempus poked his head into the audience hall of Yek the Tall but the dwarf was nowhere to be seen.

Yek the Tall, meanwhile, saw Tempus. The goblin chieftain pointed at Tempus and shouted, "YOU!"

CHAPTER 7

"DEAD EYES"

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor:

• Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
  
• Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
• Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
• Push-ta "Bearbite" Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
• Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond. 

The Legion of Azrok

Yek ordered his bugbear guards to detain Tempus. Tempus retreated from the room, "We had a deal, Yek!" He rejoined the group, "We should probably go."

At just that moment, the exit to the south was thrown open. Behind the door was an entire unit of hobgoblin warriors led by a battle-scarred commander. The commander shouted at full military intensity, "Step aside for the Legion of Azrok!"

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor parted and allowed the platoon of eleven hobgoblins to enter. They marched to the center of the hall in tight military formation. The hobgoblin commander shouted something in goblin.

Etlenda asked Glom what was going on. She explained that the hobgoblins were recruiting warriors to fight the drow. 

Winterfrost said, "What do you think?"

Etlenda replied, "Not our problem. Lets stick to the plan!"

The party exited through the south door.

The Owlbear Challenge

The party traveled down a long corridor heading east. They came across a four-way intersection decorated with colorful frescoes depicting dwarves at work. Glom indicated the passage to the south.

Tempus said, "Glom, hold up. Now that you are safely away from the bazaar, we're going to need that back." He took the circlet from her head. Glom, startled, reverted back to her goblin form. "Oh," she said, disappointed, "Glom was getting used to it."

The passage turned east again. As the party neared a rupture in the north wall, they heard music swell from no discernable source - it was Halaster's music. A glowing magical rift appeared as a voice declared, "Our heroes press on. Let us see if they can handle a little unexpected challenge. AN OWLBEAR!" A large bear covered in feathers with the head of a giant owl stepped through the rift. It roared aggressively at the party, "HOOOOT!" It charged them with rage in its avian eyes.

The owlbear was quickly defeated. It disappeared into a glowing blue mist. The magical voice said, "Well done! Better than expected! But don't get too cocky, next time there'll be TWO!"

The Zombie Beholder

The passage then turned south, then west. A side passage led to the south. Glom pointed and said, "Stairs down that way, but Glom not go. Too dangerous. Guarded. Don't go. Too dangerous."

Etlenda assured her everything would be okay and sent Push-ta, who now insisted on being called by his goblin name "Bearbite" down the corridor to scout ahead. 

"Bearbite" returned a moment later, his half-orc face pale, "You're not going to believe this. Its like some kind of zombie beholder! Its hovering near the ceiling out of melee range. Also, there's a whole group of people in the room beyond fighting or wrassling or something."

The party was hesitant. Do they turn back? Do they confront a dangerous guardian? They decided to take care of the problem now.

Bearbite moved stealthily ahead of the others. He was unnoticed by the zombie beholder. He aimed his crossbow and loosed a deadly bolt. The attack caught the beholder by surprise. It retaliated in anger, sending a beam of paralysis towards the half-orc "caravan guard". Bearbite's muscles began to freeze. He fought off the paralysis and backed up around the corner and behind cover. 

DM - The spacing of the assault was awkward. Some of the characters had surprise on the beholder, but they were too far back to effectively charge into the room and attack - it would have required a double-move. So there were a few turns of movement and jostling and positioning for optimum coverage by the paladin's aura before they pressed their attack and they wound up losing their surprise round. 

That being said, Push-ta/Bearbite did 51 points of damage on his surprise round sneak attack, which ain't bad!

The party charged down the long corridor and into the room. Winterfrost threw a lasso made of magical lightning at the beholder, pulling it down from the ceiling. 

Etlenda, astride his holy war-wolf, attacked the creature, impaling it with his sword.

The zombie beholder opened its mouth to emit a dry raspy scream as it perished. 

DM - Lightning Lure for 12 lightning damage. Wolf claws for 12 slashing damage. Then a Natural 20 for 20 points of damage followed by 19 points of smite damage! The undead beholder didn't last more than one round and took WAY more damage than it could overcome and reanimate.

Nadia the Unbent

A woman shouted from the next room, "Shut up! Someone's in the entrance! Get them!"

A tall muscular woman led a contingent of human thugs and bugbears into the entrance hall. She stopped when she saw the intruders, "As I thought! It's the ones our masters warned us about! You were told not to enter Undermountain! Now you will learn what it means to defy Xanathar and his guild! None shall pass Nadia the Unbent! Kill them!"

What followed was a tough fight as Etlenda engaged Nadia the Unbent while her thugs fanned out and harassed the party with crossbows from cover. The bugbears and a few thugs joined Nadia in a huge scrum in the center of the hall. A handful of bugbears hung back as reinforcements. 

It was a slog! Despite her name, Nadia fell early in the battle. Etlenda was beaten nearly to unconsciousness on two or three separate occasions, only to be reinvigorated by healing prayers from Tempus and Kem. Winterfrost and Push-ta took the flank and made a drive towards a door to the south - a door the thugs seemed keen on defending.

The bugbear reserves eventually joined the fight while a single thug disappeared through what appeared to be a secret door in the back of the next room. A few moments later more bugbears emerged from the secret door. Their arrival was too little too late and eventually all the opponents lay defeated upon the floor.

The Rust Monster Gate

The party rested for a bit before continuing. Winterfrost took Nadia's great axe as a prize. 

Once they caught their breath, they found and entered the secret door. The passage beyond branched to the left and right. The left was a dead end. The right turned towards the east and terminated in another dead end. However, the dead was framed by an archway, similar to the one which turned people invisible on the level above. A rust monster was engraved on the keystone. 

Bearbite thought about it for a moment before saying, "I'm doing it." He passed through the arch - 

- only to slam face first into the wall. 

As he rubbed his nose he felt his clothing and armor shift. He looked down to see the rivets in his studded leather, the buckle on every belt, all his crossbow bolts, everything he owned made of iron or steel, turn to flaky rust. 

"Wh-what??"

Winterfrost watched in shock, "Oh shit!"

The Armory

Etlenda and Tempus, meanwhile, searched the dead end to the south and found another secret door. Beyond was a long room filled with racks of old dwarven weapons and armor - an armory. 

There were dozens of suits of plate armor, chain mail shirts, shields, spears, polearms, axes, and hammers. Unfortunately, they were so ancient that all the leather straps and cloth had long ago become brittle or decayed. The wooden hafts of weapons were rotten. Nothing could be used.

Tempus, searching through the racks, found a badly injured thug - the sole survivor who had fled the battle - hiding behind one of the racks. The thug surrendered. 

Tempus told the thug to leave, get out of Undermountain, and never come back, and to remember the mercy they showed him. 

The thug ran nervously past as he escaped with his life. 

Tempus started loading several suits of plate armor into his magical bag of holding. Bearbite said, "What are you doing?"

Tempus replied, "Plate armor costs like 1500 gold pieces per suit! This is treasure! I'm taking it out and selling it!"

"It's useless!" said Kem, examining some of the decayed leather and cloth. 

"It can be repaired! Heck, YOU could repair it! We'll fix it up and sell it! You'll see!"

Kem thought about it and shrugged, "Maybe."

The Ballistae

Bearbite recovered what crossbow bolts he could from the defeated thugs as well as some leather armor. So reequipped, the party prepared to open the south door.

Beyond the south door was a long gallery to the east. At the end of the gallery were two uncrewed heavy ballistae. The party watched the ballistae carefully. Tempus saw one shudder while the other scratched one of its legs. They were magically animated. 

They avoided the long gallery and took the door immediately opposite on the south wall. 

DM - Apparently the players could see the label on the icons in Roll20 "Animated Ballistae". Winterfrost's player said, "I get the feeling they might be animated ballistae."

TWO Owlbears

A long passage led west, then turned south. After the turn, the passage turned back to the east. 

There they heard Halaster's music again. A magical voice appeared, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've seen how they handled one owlbear. But can they handle TWO?" Two magical rifts appeared, one in front and one behind, and an owlbear emerged from both.

Etlenda hopped off his spirit world and ordered Glom to get onto the saddle. He moved towards the back to help defend Tempus and Kem while Bearbite and Winterfrost took on the owlbear in the front. 

The battle was more challenging this time and it took a little more effort but the party was ultimately able to defeat both owlbears. Once again, the dead owlbears disappeared in blue glowing mist.

"Well well well! It looks like they defeated both! Who knew they had it in them?"

The Stairs Down

Before them, the eastern corridor descended down some long stairs. 

The music changed, swelled, became more ominous. The voice became more foreboding, "And so, our contestants persevere in the face of their countless shortcomings, saying goodbye to the Arcane Chambers and hello to the dwarven ruins of Stromkuhldur—but, we wonder, can they weather the storm of spiders and venom that is House Auvryndar? Can they escape the wretched drow? Or shall they too become pregnant with the demon goddess's foul children?"

"Find out this and more next week on Dungeon of the Mad Mage!"

Tempus shouted out, "We're not going down yet!"

There was the sound of a needle scratching on vinyl, "Wait- what?"

Etlenda added, "We just wanted to find the stairs and map it. We're headed back to do some exploring."

"Oh. Oh. Okay. Well, FINE! You're not fun at all!"

The party turned and headed back the way they came.

To Be Continued...

The Goblin Bazaar - the Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Chapter 6

 

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor descended the long stairway hundreds of feet. They came to side passage to the left. Before them the corridor turned right. They could hear the faint sounds of goblin gibberish and music to the left. They decided to explore that direction.

They found a room filled with trash - just dumped there. The walls were decorated with dwarven reliefs that had been defaced with goblin graffiti. They exited towards the sounds through a passage to the north.

They paused to check their status. Both Kem and Winterfrost had come down with "brain jellies". They would be useless in a fight. That left Etlenda, Push-ta, and Tempus to carry the load.

They drew weapons and prepared for battle as they entered a massive hall with a sixty foot vaulted ceiling supported by stout dwarven columns. The northern half of the hall narrowed and featured what appeared to be an ancient dwarven throne on a raised dais.

The hall was filled with dozens of goblins and a handful of bugbears milling about between multiple tents and tables. The sounds of commerce, barter, and trade filled with hall. They could smell meat sizzling over a fire. Tables were festooned with goods for sale or trade. Several goblins saw them enter and waved at them in greeting, enticing the party to purchase their wares.

They had stumbled upon a goblin bazaar! 

CHAPTER 6

"THE GOBLIN BAZAAR"

The Mystics of Trollskull Manor:

• Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
  
• Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
• Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
• Push-ta Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
• Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond. 

Yek the Tall

The party explored the bazaar a bit, seeing what was available and slapping away the sticky goblin fingers that sought to lead them around by the belt or sleeve. The goods available at the bazaar were all used - generally adventuring equipment and supplies that once belonged to previous explorers of Undermountain, most of whom had met foul ends - giving the entire affair the atmosphere of a cheap flea market. 

They soon found a side chamber protected by two armed guards. The guards insisted on binding the party's weapons into their hilts or belts using metal wire. The party agreed and entered the chamber. Within they found a dozen goblins lounging on piles of pillows, sipping mead and wine and ale. Four bugbear warriors guarded the corners of the room. At the far end of the chamber was a beautiful human man, far more beautiful than even Etlenda. The man reclined on a tall mound of rugs and pillows. He held a mirror in his hand and never turned from it - constantly admiring his own visage.

In the back of the room was a dwarven male, chained to the wall and shorn of all hair and beard - a humiliation for a dwarf! 

The man was Yek the Tall. Yek requested introductions from the newcomers. After pleasantries were exchanged, Tempus asked about the dwarf chained to the wall.

Yek explained that the dwarf was named Copper Stormforge. He was caught trying to steal from the bazaar so he was punished. 

Tempus informed Yek that Copper Stormforge was a member of the Fine Fellows of Daggerford and were wanted by the authorities on the surface for heinous crimes. He asked if he could take custody of the dwarf. Yek refused. Etlenda interrupted to suggest remuneration to Yek. This momentarily drew Yek's attention.

After some brief bartering, the party agreed to pay Yek 24 gold pieces in order to take Copper Stormforge out of their custody.

For his part, Copper Stormforge spewed vile hatred at the goblins, threatening to kill every last one of them for cutting off his beard. He offered the Mystics of Trollskull Manor a map to the third level of Undermountain if they set him free. They declined.

The Offer

The Mystics left the audience hall of Yek the Tall. Three members of Yek's courtiers escorted them out. One of the three spoke the Common tongue and requested a private meeting with the Mystics. The spokesperson for the trio told the Mystics that Yek the Tall was not, in fact, a goblin and was under the thrall of a curse laid upon him by the circlet that he wore. They told the Mystics that all of Yek's courtiers were in agreement and would pay the Mystics all of their saved treasure if they stole the circlet. 

The Mystics debated the offer but declined. They had more pressing matters.

The Way Out

The party decided to take Copper Stormforge back to the surface. They dragged the bitter dwarf back up the stairs in chains. When they reached the top of the stairs, in the chamber of the statue of the two-headed king, they encountered a force of goblins led by two giant two-headed ettins. The ettins and goblins dug in, preparing themselves for an assault. The ettins told the party that they were enemies of Xanathar's Guild and could no longer pass this way.

The party considered their options - they were down two due to brain jellies and they didn't feel like taking on two ettins and a hoard of goblins. They decided to turn back and return to the goblin bazaar.

The Circlet

Back at the Goblin Bazaar, the team debated what to do with their prisoner. Copper Stormforge suggested, once again, that he could make it worth their while were he to be set free to kill the goblins. Instead, they chained Stormforge to a pillar in the bazaar and hired some of the goblin guards to watch him. 

The trio from the Yek's "court" were still standing nearby, arguing. The team took them up on the offer. The trio returned to Yek's audience hall and passed the word around the court. Moments later, members of Yek's court exited the hall, one after another. The hall was cleared.

The team entered the hall but had difficulty turning Yek's attention away from his mirror. The team had no wish to resort to violence, so Tempus explained the situation truthfully - that the courtiers hired them remove Yek's circlet and that they had no wish to resort to violence. Etlenda offered to purchase the circlet from Yek. 

Yek was reluctant to part with his prize, but the promise of gold pieces in payment held a strong allure. He agreed to sell the circlet for no less than 100 gold pieces. Etlenda agreed and paid the sum. Ultimately, so great was Yek's reluctance to yield his appearance that he needed assistance removing the circlet. 

Once the circlet was removed, Yek's appearance reverted to that of a goblin chieftain. He buried his face into his large sack of gold coins and began to sob uncontrollably. 

The party discreetly took their exit. 

DM - Such a rare demonstration of non-violent resolution! Tempus helped Etlenda with his Persuasion skill check. Etlenda rolled a natural 20. I rewarded the success and the non-violent approach. For a price, I rolled the value of the Uncommon magic item - 1d4x100 = 100 gp. In retrospect, I should have tripled it per all other prices in the Goblin Bazaar.

Goblin Names

The team emerged from audience hall to address the waiting courtiers. Etlenda held up the circlet and said, "It is done."

The goblin who spoke Common produced a small pouch, "We give you thanks. Here is your reward.  It is all we have. You have earned it."

The pouch contained a handful of copper and silver coins.

Etlenda returned the pouch, "This is a truly great reward. We would humbly return it to you in exchange for a favor."

The goblin eyed him warily, "Such as?"

DM - The other players likewise said, "Such as?"

"Give us goblin names and make us a part of your clan."

DM - Etlenda's player got a standing ovation from the other players. Of all the treasures in Ghosts of Saltmarsh, the one they cherished most was getting Lizardfolk names. Well played! 

The trio of courtiers looked at each other, "Wait, do we do that? Is that a thing we do?"

The other goblins shrugged.

The spokes-goblin shrugged as well and said, "Okay, sure. Why not. Gather together in front of that throne over there."

The group was followed by all the goblin inhabitants of the bazaar to the north of the hall where a great dwarven throne rested atop a dais.

DM - I quickly searched online for a Random Goblin Name Generator.

The spokes-goblin instructed Etlenda to sit upon the throne.

"From this day forward, your goblin name is - Pigmud!"

Push-ta was instructed to sit upon the throne.

"From this day forward, your goblin name is - Bearbite!"

Tempus was instructed to sit upon the throne.

"From this day forward, your goblin name is - Limpchin!"

The ceremony concluded, the goblins returned to their daily lives at their booths and tables.

Glom the Wretched

The party explored the bazaar a little more. They found a side chamber where the goblins were building an auction stage out of reclaimed wood - some from the docks of Waterdeep, some from dismantled furniture. A group of goblins argued over design plans for the platform that looked like they were drawn in crayon by a toddler. 

In a nearby chamber they found a wretched starving goblin hanging in a gibbet. The goblin begged for food and water. Etlenda provided some sustenance.

The goblin's name was Glom. She had been caught attempting to steal something from Yek's treasury. She offered to be the party's guide to Undermountain if they freed her. 

Tempus, being a forthright and upstanding representative of law enforcement, went to look for the spokes-goblin in order to negotiate her release. He went back into the great hall of the bazaar but quickly realized that, to him, all the goblins looked alike. He went from goblin to goblin to no avail. He returned to the party only to find a beautiful young human woman wearing Glom's tatters. The woman was wearing the circlet.

"Glom thank you! Glom come with you!" said the beautiful woman.

Tempus rubbed his forehead, "You didn't wait for me."

Etlenda and Push-ta smiled, "We didn't wait for you."

Etlenda and Push-ta equipped their comely new companion with a backpack, a dagger, some rations and water, and other minor essentials.

They escorted their new party member out through the bazaar. No one recognized her and no one tried to stop them as they left.

DM - At about this time, Kem Hearthfire's player finally arrived, so Kem shook off her brain jellies and had to be caught up to speed.

The Water Pump

The party returned to the main passage and turned right. They came upon a long room containing a rusty old water pump. A dead goblin laid near the pump. He appeared to have been pummeled to death. 

Glom shook her head, "Poor No-Ears. He must have been on water duty."

Etlenda pumped some water out and, after about a minute and some coughing and spewing, produced clean fresh drinkable water. They refilled their water skins. 

The smell of freshly baked bread and boiling stew wafted from a southern hallway.

The Alchemist Lab

They followed the smell of cooking to an alchemist's laboratory with an adjoining kitchen. The laboratory was covered in cobwebs and dust - it had not been touched for many decades. Invisible chefs prepared aromatic meals in the kitchen. Pots were stirred by magical spoons. Dough was rolled by magical rollers. Vegetables were sliced by magical cutting knives.

Tempus searched through the lab, finding several potions labeled "healing" and one marked "love". 

At the sound of searching through the laboratory, a large bubbling stew-pot became magically animated. It hopped off the stove top and landed on the floor. It hopped along the floor to a spot in the center of the laboratory.  It was closely followed by the magical rolling pin, ladle, cutting knives, and other large utensils.

The lid of the stew pot was thrown off and a ghostly apparition emerged.

Kem reacted quickly - summoning her holy spirit guardians. The hammers swirled around her and her companions, quickly smashing the magical utensils and pummeling the specter. The specter was promptly smashed into ectoplasm by the holy hammers.

With the death of the specter, the illusion on the kitchen disappeared, revealing it to be as old and untouched as the lab. A door on the north wall of the kitchen bore a sign that read, "Kalabash’s Room. Do not enter unless your name is Halaster."

A quick peek showed the room to be a bedchamber. The party abandoned it to once more quickly dash room-by-room in search of opponents to make full use of Kem's spirit guardians.

The Workroom

They retraced their steps to the water pump and took the other passage to the east. They opened a door and entered a laboratory filled with notes and batteries and electrical apparatuses. They moved quickly down another passage and into a room filled with sealed barrels. A copper-plated door was located in the southeast corner. 

Pickled Goblins

Push-ta chose a nearby barrel an opened it. It was filled with formaldehyde and contained a complete pickled goblin body - its skin flabby and eel-like from its preservation. 

Push-ta recoiled in disgust.

Suddenly the goblin opened its vacant eyes and turned its head towards Push-ta. It opened its mouth and small bubbles emerged. The goblin burst out of the formaldehyde, attacking the half-orc. 

The undead goblin-thing produced a gurgling scream and five other barrels burst open, revealing more pickled goblins. 

The ghoulish goblins were spaced around the room, some out of the range of Kem's spirit hammers. But the ghoublins were no match for the party and were soon defeated.

A quick search of the other barrels revealed several filled with copper ingots - a relic from the ancient days during which Undermountain was a dwarven mine.

Trinzia's Laboratory

The party formed up behind Push-ta and Etlenda at the copper door. Push-ta opened the door to reveal a room clad in copper. A hulking humanoid beast composed of various human and bugbear parts sewn together and covered with stretched goblin skin stood drooling and vacant in the middle of the room.

A floating animated human skull danced through the air around the room. Little electric bolts burst from its eyes and mouth, arcing against the copper floor. The skull noticed the intruders in the open doorway, "Excellent! Master Hallaster has sent me some new test subjects! I hope they last longer than those goblins did!"

Etlenda and Push-ta took one look at the electrified skull flying over the copper floor, exchange a glance, said, "Nope!" and closed the door.

Kalabash the Intoxicated

Kem's spirit guardians departed so the Mystics of Trollskull Manor retraced their steps back to the bedchamber of Kalabash. The room contained a bed, a trunk, a desk with a dozen books, and a rug on the floor. 

Etlenda examined the books. They were all blank manuscripts. 

Push-ta used his tools to unlock the chest. A magical ward on the chest zapped him with a bolt of electricity. The chest was empty save for a note that read: "Retirement fund. Don’t spend this on ale, Kalabash!"

Push-ta kicked the trunk and shouted, "Dammit, Kalabash!"

Tempus looked under the rug and found a magical circle drawn onto the floor. He removed the rug and examined the circle. Several of the arcane sigils had been smeared and erased. Tempus spent the better part of an hour reconstructing the required sigils and drawing them in using a magical cantrip.

As he completed the circle, a magical flare erupted and a human man appeared. The man was dressed in a shoddy robe and appeared drunk. He staggered and looked around, "Wha- wha are you people doing in my- my room?" The man saw his empty trunk and became belligerent, 'H-Hey! You've been in my- my schtuff!" He withdrew a magic wand and pointed it at Push-ta.

Etlenda, Tempus, and Push-ta responded quickly, slapping the man with the flats of their sword blades and with powerful blows from Push-ta's great club, knocking the man unconscious. The team quickly stripped the man of his spellbook and wand.

The man regained consciousness a short while later, complaining of a terrible hangover. Tempus tried to talk with him. The man, whose name was Kalabash, ignored Tempus. Kalabash, instead, gave orders to the others as if they were servants and was very confused at their noncompliance. Kalabash expressed great dismay at not being able to exit the circle. Kalabash deduced that he had been caught in a magical prison. He had no memory of how he got there. 

Kem asked Kalabash what year he thought it was. Based on his answer, Kem and Tempus deduced Kalabash had been imprisoned for over 200 years. 

Kalabash rubbed his head and asked if anyone knew dispel magic in order to free him. Tempus, annoyed, replied "No" before dismissing the cantrip that completed the magic circle. As the magic faded, Kalabash shouted, "No! Wait! I can-" He was cut off as he disappeared back into his magical prison.

To be Continued

DM Commentary - I had a lot of fun this session. Lots of great personalities to role-play. The players also enjoyed the break from constant combat. 

My only negative comments are the lack of motivation or backstory for Kalabash. I decided not to use the alternative Kalabash from the Companion. That was just too dark and too much work. I struggled for a while trying to figure out what would allow Kalabash to escape before I found a post online that said that Dispel Magic would break a magic circle.