After searching the body of the slain assassin of Xanathar's Guild, the Mystics of Trollskull Manor heard a knock at the south door of the checkpoint - the door leading deeper into the Undermountain.
Tempus opened the door, "Yes?"
It was a dwarf fighter, two half-orc brothers, and a human woman of Shou descent. The dwarf spoke, "Yeah, uh, we're the Last Knights. We seek passage through this checkpoint to return to the surface." The dwarf saw the dead bodies of several thugs and bugbears lying on the floor in the room beyond, "But, um, I see there may be new arrangements?"
Tempus said, "Come on in. Did you have to pay a toll or something?"
One of the half-orcs said, "Yeah, we had to pay 25 gold each!" His brother elbowed him in the ribs, "Uh, I mean, no. We had an arrangement. We didn't have to pay no toll!"
Tempus allowed them to pass into the room, "We're the Mystics of Trollskull Manor."
The dwarf said, "Oh yeah, you're this season's contestants, yeah? How's it going?"
"We've barely made it to the third level. How about you?"
"We've made it down to the seventh level. We're headed back for a rest."
"Seventh level huh? Can you tell us what to expect?"
The dwarf looked offended, "Really? Were you not told?"
Winterfrost asked, "Told what?"
The human woman smiled, "I don't think they were told. They don't know."
The dwarf said, "We can't tell you what's coming next. Sorry."
Winterfrost became agitated, "Is this a new rule? How come nobody told us about these rules?"
"All I can say is, you'll find out. Anyway, pleased to meet you, I'm Kukunri Bonehide. These two bone-heads are Renobar and Atumar, they're brothers. And this is Chow Nie, our priestess. Like I said, we're the Last Knights, with a 'K'. Where are you headed? Up or down?"
Etlenda said, "We've had a rough day. We're headed back up."
"Great! Mind if we join you? We won't cause any trouble."
- Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
- Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
- Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
- Push-ta "Bearbite" Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
- Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond.
- Glom the Wretched - Chaotic Neutral Goblin NPC, former thief and guide to the Arcane Chambers.
Big Ears Watch Post
The combined parties returned through the Goblin Bazaar and ascended the stairs to the first level. There they encountered the checkpoint occupied by the Big Ears Bugbear troop with a handful of goblins.
Tempus called up the stairs, asking for safe passage and letting the goblins know that they could expect protection if any conscripts wished to escape their bugbear overlords.
The goblins scurried to warn the bugbears and set up ambush points. Etlenda, riding his spirit wolf, charged into the center of the room where he was peppered with small arrows. Hu-man Patty Johnson ran off after one of the goblins who disappeared down a side corridor, pleading with him in the goblin language. Winterfrost started to follow Hu-man Patty Johnson but was forced to abandon her and help defend her companion Etlenda.
Etlenda took great pains to use the flat of his blade against the goblins, hoping to show mercy against those who were coerced to fight but prepared to defend himself should they pose a threat.
A group of bugbears emerged from the back room. Tempus threw a magical fireball into their midst, devastating them.
Bearbite hugged the wall to the right, keeping a low profile and eliminating goblins and bugbears with deadly and efficient stealth.
A bugbear broke ranks and ran down the corridor in the back left corner. A moment later the sound of giants could be heard lumbering down the hall. A pair of fat two-headed giants known as ettins entered the room. Etlenda and Winterfrost tried to hold them at the back corner but they were too far away and both managed to gain entry.
Tempus said a prayer and became a beacon of holy light, bathing his companions in his radiant support.
Meanwhile, a bugbear and a goblin in the back right corner attacked Hu-man Patty Johnson as they emerged from the side corridor. She was in danger but managed to flee to the safety of Tempus' aura.
Bearbite made short work of the bugbear and goblin that harried his friend. They never even knew from where their death had come.
There was a pitched battle but the ettins, bugbears, and goblins were soon defeated.
The Last Knights emerged from the stairs, "Is it safe?"
"Yes! We killed them all!" replied Winterfrost.
"We usually just pay the toll and avoid the fight. We don't want no trouble with Xanathar's Guild. Okay, if you're going to stick around, we'll just head up. We'll see you on the surface."
Winterfrost led the others as they explored the corridor in the back. It led to a dead end. Several side passages promised additional space and other mysteries but Winterfrost had already grown weary of the diversion, "I'm done. Let's head back."
The Secret Room
On their way out they passed into the corridor decorated with bas reliefs of demons. The dead body that once lay on the ground, pointing towards one of the bas reliefs, was gone. A chalk arrow on the wall pointed to one of the carvings.
Though they had passed this way several times the party now decided to investigate. They found a secret door behind the carving leading to a winding rough hewn passage that descended sharply. The passage opened into a room that was tilted and flooded with sewage. A statue of a sahuagin fish-man rose from the muck to the right - its head turned backward.
Winterfrost called Bearbite forward, "Think you can climb over the muck and check out that statue?"
Bearbite rubbed his half-orc chin, "Maybe?"
Winterfrost dug through her backpack and produced a potion, "Here, drink this. It's a potion of spider climbing."
"Sweet!" Bearbite drank the potion and clambered across the wall and ceiling like a spider. He reached the statue and found that its head unscrewed from the body. He removed the head and saw that it was hollow with two emplacements to mount candles. When lit the candles would appear to make the eyes of the statue glow.
Suddenly there was a ripple in the water and Bearbite was struck with a painful splitting headache! He looked down and saw an amorphous gray mass rising up out of the water, climbing the statue towards him.
"Yeah, fuck that!" He said as he quickly scrambled back to the others in the corridor, "We're leaving."
They abandoned the room and returned to the well at the bottom of the Yawning Portal.
Vandalized House
The Mystics of Trollskull Manor returned to their home just after noon to find it vandalized. The outside walls were covered in graffiti. The door to the first floor had been broken open, the furniture and fixtures in what they were planning to be a sitting room had been busted. However, there appeared to had been a fight. There was blood on the floor, articles of clothing, and other little signs indicating that the intruders had met a encountered a surprise reception that chased them away. Tempus knocked on the bar and called out to the poltergeist that dwelled there, "Thank you. It won't happen again!" Three knocks answered back.
Tempus began the work of cleaning up the mess while Winterfrost and Bearbite showed Hu-man Patty Johnson the house.
There was a knock at the open door of the bar/sitting room. It was Emmek Frewn, owner of the tavern across the street. He told Tempus that the vandalization had occurred several nights ago while they were down below. He knew it was Xanathar's Guild because several of their human thugs had been hanging out at his tavern while they cased the manor. They were trouble and he didn't want anything to do with the Guild.
"Look, if you want, I know some wee fellahs who make good guards. They're a gang of halflings from down in he South Ward, named the Shard Shunners. I've got an in with them and I can make an introduction, if ye want. They don't come cheap but they've got special skills."
"Wait," said Tempus, "The Shard Shunners, aren't they were-rats?"
"Well, I don't know nothin' about that. But they got some - special - skills that make them worth every gold dragon."
"Thanks. We'll think about it."
Poo-poo Holes
Meanwhile, Hu-man Patty Johnson was getting a tour of the house. She had never seen such luxury before! Individuals got their own rooms! They lived like kings! However, the feature that impressed her the most was when Bearbite showed her the indoor privy.
"Wait," she said, amazed, "What - is - that?"
"That's the privy," said Bearbite proudly, "You do your poopy and pee-pee business in the hole, pour in a pail of water, then turn this thing here. It goes away into some pipes."
"Hold on hold on," she said, her eyes closed, "You no go poop at end of hall or in empty room?"
"No, ma'am. You poop in here."
"You poop. In the hole."
"Yes, and pee too."
She was stunned.
They crossed the hall and Bearbite showed her the other privy.
"Wait wait wait. There are TWO poo-poo holes?"
Bearbite nodded.
"Such DECADENCE! You - I mean we humans live like KINGS!"
Taking Care of Business
After the tour, Etlenda gathered the group together for a team meeting. They gathered together all the loot and treasure accumulated from the Undermountain.
"It's not a lot," complained Etlenda.
After decided who kept what and providing estimates on how long it would take to transcribe the spells from the spellbooks they had acquired, Etlenda took the excess magical artifacts to his buyer, Obaya Uday. He returned with gold which he divided among the team - even giving a share to Hu-man Patty Johnson - 43 gold coins, the most treasure she had ever seen in her life.
Afterwards they talked about hiring guards to watch the house while they were in the mountain. Tempus mentioned the Shard Shunners. Bearbite, however, said he had contacts through "the Caravan Guild" - his codeword for the Zhentarim syndicate for which he worked - and could get guards at a discount.
The team did the math and decided to hire Bearbite's guards - ten armed guards and ten unskilled men to watch the house in three eight hour shifts - at a total cost of 3 gold pieces a day for five weeks.
After the meeting, Hu-man Patty Johnson sat staring at her pile of gold coins. Winterfrost saw this and said, "Hey, put your gold in a sack. We're going shopping!"
"We go what?"
Shopping Montage
DM - What followed was what my players described as a shopping montage. Various boutiques, trying on clothes, harried clerks and seamstresses, getting their hair done, the whole thing.
Winterfrost took Hu-man Patty Johnson on a whirlwind tour through Waterdeep's Trades Ward. Winterfrost spent her own money to purchase the latest fashions and accessories for the goblin-turned-human.
While they were out, she ran into Lady Remallia Haventree, the lady of House Ulbrinter and leader of the spies known as the Harpers. Winterfrost introduced Hu-man Patty Johnson to the esteemed elven lady.
Hu-man Patty Johnson, a stunning human beauty wearing her new dress, stood straight and thrust out her stiff arm to shake Lady Haventree's hand, "HALLO LADY! I AM HUMAN PATTY JOHNSON!"
"Yes," was the refined response, "I'm sure you are. Anyway, Winterfrost, I'm having a little party at my villa in two days. I'd like it if you and your - ah - companions could join us. I fear a drow spy may try to infiltrate our little circle of performers and I would like you and your companions to root them out. This will be a glamorous event, so please dress sharply. If you are concerned about any of your friends - ah - not fitting in with high society, there will be refreshments served in the garden for the more - ah - outdoorsy types where they can feel more comfortable."
"The what now?" said Winterfrost, suddenly on edge.
"You know - that tall orcine fellow, the eladrin with the wolf pelt who I'm told sleeps on the floor in your cellar, and the orcine woman who works in the forge. I forget their names."
DM - I think I laid on the snootiness a little too thick. I wasn't trying to sound snobby or make her sound racist - I was legitimately trying to give an option for characters like Bearbite - a member of an underworld crime syndicate - and Etlenda - who was LITERALLY RAISED IN A CAVE BY WOLVES to participate. But boy did Winterfrost's player take it as snobby casual racism, but I honestly can't blame him. I did use the term "orcine", which I thought would be a polite euphemism for "half-orc", but REALLY came out sounding fantasy-racist.
"Understood. I'll have to check with my team, of course, but I think we can do this."
"Excellent. I'll send my raven by tonight to get your answer."
Hu-man Patty Johnson's eyes got big, "We go on mission to fancy lady house?"
Winterfrost seethed a little at the implication that her companions could not fit in with polite society, "Yes, Patty. I think we will. We're going to need to buy "
To Be Continued...
Next week - Spy Party!
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