The Mystics of Trollskull Manor descended the long stairway hundreds of feet. They came to side passage to the left. Before them the corridor turned right. They could hear the faint sounds of goblin gibberish and music to the left. They decided to explore that direction.
They found a room filled with trash - just dumped there. The walls were decorated with dwarven reliefs that had been defaced with goblin graffiti. They exited towards the sounds through a passage to the north.
They paused to check their status. Both Kem and Winterfrost had come down with "brain jellies". They would be useless in a fight. That left Etlenda, Push-ta, and Tempus to carry the load.
They drew weapons and prepared for battle as they entered a massive hall with a sixty foot vaulted ceiling supported by stout dwarven columns. The northern half of the hall narrowed and featured what appeared to be an ancient dwarven throne on a raised dais.
The hall was filled with dozens of goblins and a handful of bugbears milling about between multiple tents and tables. The sounds of commerce, barter, and trade filled with hall. They could smell meat sizzling over a fire. Tables were festooned with goods for sale or trade. Several goblins saw them enter and waved at them in greeting, enticing the party to purchase their wares.
They had stumbled upon a goblin bazaar!
- Winterfrost of House Silverspear - Chaotic Good Moon Elf Noble and Fighter. The daughter of elven diplomats, raised among dwarves.
- Etlenda, aka "Exile" - Neutral Good Eladrin Outlander and Paladin. Exiled from the Feywild and raised by wolves. While exploring the Feydark he crossed over into the Underdark and emerged into the Mortal World.
- Tempus Vegvisir - Lawful Good Human Trade Sheriff and Cleric of Helm. Husband and Father.
- Push-ta Tok - Neutral Half-Orc Former Smuggler and Rogue, secret member of the Zhentarim.
- Kem Hearthfire - Chaotic Good Half-Orc Former Gladiator Priestess of Gond.
Yek the Tall
The party explored the bazaar a bit, seeing what was available and slapping away the sticky goblin fingers that sought to lead them around by the belt or sleeve. The goods available at the bazaar were all used - generally adventuring equipment and supplies that once belonged to previous explorers of Undermountain, most of whom had met foul ends - giving the entire affair the atmosphere of a cheap flea market.
They soon found a side chamber protected by two armed guards. The guards insisted on binding the party's weapons into their hilts or belts using metal wire. The party agreed and entered the chamber. Within they found a dozen goblins lounging on piles of pillows, sipping mead and wine and ale. Four bugbear warriors guarded the corners of the room. At the far end of the chamber was a beautiful human man, far more beautiful than even Etlenda. The man reclined on a tall mound of rugs and pillows. He held a mirror in his hand and never turned from it - constantly admiring his own visage.
In the back of the room was a dwarven male, chained to the wall and shorn of all hair and beard - a humiliation for a dwarf!
The man was Yek the Tall. Yek requested introductions from the newcomers. After pleasantries were exchanged, Tempus asked about the dwarf chained to the wall.
Yek explained that the dwarf was named Copper Stormforge. He was caught trying to steal from the bazaar so he was punished.
Tempus informed Yek that Copper Stormforge was a member of the Fine Fellows of Daggerford and were wanted by the authorities on the surface for heinous crimes. He asked if he could take custody of the dwarf. Yek refused. Etlenda interrupted to suggest remuneration to Yek. This momentarily drew Yek's attention.
After some brief bartering, the party agreed to pay Yek 24 gold pieces in order to take Copper Stormforge out of their custody.
For his part, Copper Stormforge spewed vile hatred at the goblins, threatening to kill every last one of them for cutting off his beard. He offered the Mystics of Trollskull Manor a map to the third level of Undermountain if they set him free. They declined.
The Offer
The Mystics left the audience hall of Yek the Tall. Three members of Yek's courtiers escorted them out. One of the three spoke the Common tongue and requested a private meeting with the Mystics. The spokesperson for the trio told the Mystics that Yek the Tall was not, in fact, a goblin and was under the thrall of a curse laid upon him by the circlet that he wore. They told the Mystics that all of Yek's courtiers were in agreement and would pay the Mystics all of their saved treasure if they stole the circlet.
The Mystics debated the offer but declined. They had more pressing matters.
The Way Out
The party decided to take Copper Stormforge back to the surface. They dragged the bitter dwarf back up the stairs in chains. When they reached the top of the stairs, in the chamber of the statue of the two-headed king, they encountered a force of goblins led by two giant two-headed ettins. The ettins and goblins dug in, preparing themselves for an assault. The ettins told the party that they were enemies of Xanathar's Guild and could no longer pass this way.
The party considered their options - they were down two due to brain jellies and they didn't feel like taking on two ettins and a hoard of goblins. They decided to turn back and return to the goblin bazaar.
The Circlet
Back at the Goblin Bazaar, the team debated what to do with their prisoner. Copper Stormforge suggested, once again, that he could make it worth their while were he to be set free to kill the goblins. Instead, they chained Stormforge to a pillar in the bazaar and hired some of the goblin guards to watch him.
The trio from the Yek's "court" were still standing nearby, arguing. The team took them up on the offer. The trio returned to Yek's audience hall and passed the word around the court. Moments later, members of Yek's court exited the hall, one after another. The hall was cleared.
The team entered the hall but had difficulty turning Yek's attention away from his mirror. The team had no wish to resort to violence, so Tempus explained the situation truthfully - that the courtiers hired them remove Yek's circlet and that they had no wish to resort to violence. Etlenda offered to purchase the circlet from Yek.
Yek was reluctant to part with his prize, but the promise of gold pieces in payment held a strong allure. He agreed to sell the circlet for no less than 100 gold pieces. Etlenda agreed and paid the sum. Ultimately, so great was Yek's reluctance to yield his appearance that he needed assistance removing the circlet.
Once the circlet was removed, Yek's appearance reverted to that of a goblin chieftain. He buried his face into his large sack of gold coins and began to sob uncontrollably.
The party discreetly took their exit.
Goblin Names
The team emerged from audience hall to address the waiting courtiers. Etlenda held up the circlet and said, "It is done."
The goblin who spoke Common produced a small pouch, "We give you thanks. Here is your reward. It is all we have. You have earned it."
The pouch contained a handful of copper and silver coins.
Etlenda returned the pouch, "This is a truly great reward. We would humbly return it to you in exchange for a favor."
The goblin eyed him warily, "Such as?"
DM - The other players likewise said, "Such as?"
"Give us goblin names and make us a part of your clan."
DM - Etlenda's player got a standing ovation from the other players. Of all the treasures in Ghosts of Saltmarsh, the one they cherished most was getting Lizardfolk names. Well played!
The trio of courtiers looked at each other, "Wait, do we do that? Is that a thing we do?"
The other goblins shrugged.
The spokes-goblin shrugged as well and said, "Okay, sure. Why not. Gather together in front of that throne over there."
The group was followed by all the goblin inhabitants of the bazaar to the north of the hall where a great dwarven throne rested atop a dais.
DM - I quickly searched online for a Random Goblin Name Generator.
The spokes-goblin instructed Etlenda to sit upon the throne.
"From this day forward, your goblin name is - Pigmud!"
Push-ta was instructed to sit upon the throne.
"From this day forward, your goblin name is - Bearbite!"
Tempus was instructed to sit upon the throne.
"From this day forward, your goblin name is - Limpchin!"
The ceremony concluded, the goblins returned to their daily lives at their booths and tables.
Glom the Wretched
The party explored the bazaar a little more. They found a side chamber where the goblins were building an auction stage out of reclaimed wood - some from the docks of Waterdeep, some from dismantled furniture. A group of goblins argued over design plans for the platform that looked like they were drawn in crayon by a toddler.
In a nearby chamber they found a wretched starving goblin hanging in a gibbet. The goblin begged for food and water. Etlenda provided some sustenance.
The goblin's name was Glom. She had been caught attempting to steal something from Yek's treasury. She offered to be the party's guide to Undermountain if they freed her.
Tempus, being a forthright and upstanding representative of law enforcement, went to look for the spokes-goblin in order to negotiate her release. He went back into the great hall of the bazaar but quickly realized that, to him, all the goblins looked alike. He went from goblin to goblin to no avail. He returned to the party only to find a beautiful young human woman wearing Glom's tatters. The woman was wearing the circlet.
"Glom thank you! Glom come with you!" said the beautiful woman.
Tempus rubbed his forehead, "You didn't wait for me."
Etlenda and Push-ta smiled, "We didn't wait for you."
Etlenda and Push-ta equipped their comely new companion with a backpack, a dagger, some rations and water, and other minor essentials.
They escorted their new party member out through the bazaar. No one recognized her and no one tried to stop them as they left.
DM - At about this time, Kem Hearthfire's player finally arrived, so Kem shook off her brain jellies and had to be caught up to speed.
The Water Pump
The party returned to the main passage and turned right. They came upon a long room containing a rusty old water pump. A dead goblin laid near the pump. He appeared to have been pummeled to death.
Glom shook her head, "Poor No-Ears. He must have been on water duty."
Etlenda pumped some water out and, after about a minute and some coughing and spewing, produced clean fresh drinkable water. They refilled their water skins.
The smell of freshly baked bread and boiling stew wafted from a southern hallway.
The Alchemist Lab
They followed the smell of cooking to an alchemist's laboratory with an adjoining kitchen. The laboratory was covered in cobwebs and dust - it had not been touched for many decades. Invisible chefs prepared aromatic meals in the kitchen. Pots were stirred by magical spoons. Dough was rolled by magical rollers. Vegetables were sliced by magical cutting knives.
Tempus searched through the lab, finding several potions labeled "healing" and one marked "love".
At the sound of searching through the laboratory, a large bubbling stew-pot became magically animated. It hopped off the stove top and landed on the floor. It hopped along the floor to a spot in the center of the laboratory. It was closely followed by the magical rolling pin, ladle, cutting knives, and other large utensils.
The lid of the stew pot was thrown off and a ghostly apparition emerged.
Kem reacted quickly - summoning her holy spirit guardians. The hammers swirled around her and her companions, quickly smashing the magical utensils and pummeling the specter. The specter was promptly smashed into ectoplasm by the holy hammers.
With the death of the specter, the illusion on the kitchen disappeared, revealing it to be as old and untouched as the lab. A door on the north wall of the kitchen bore a sign that read, "Kalabash’s Room. Do not enter unless your name is Halaster."
A quick peek showed the room to be a bedchamber. The party abandoned it to once more quickly dash room-by-room in search of opponents to make full use of Kem's spirit guardians.
The Workroom
They retraced their steps to the water pump and took the other passage to the east. They opened a door and entered a laboratory filled with notes and batteries and electrical apparatuses. They moved quickly down another passage and into a room filled with sealed barrels. A copper-plated door was located in the southeast corner.
Pickled Goblins
Push-ta chose a nearby barrel an opened it. It was filled with formaldehyde and contained a complete pickled goblin body - its skin flabby and eel-like from its preservation.
Push-ta recoiled in disgust.
Suddenly the goblin opened its vacant eyes and turned its head towards Push-ta. It opened its mouth and small bubbles emerged. The goblin burst out of the formaldehyde, attacking the half-orc.
The undead goblin-thing produced a gurgling scream and five other barrels burst open, revealing more pickled goblins.
The ghoulish goblins were spaced around the room, some out of the range of Kem's spirit hammers. But the ghoublins were no match for the party and were soon defeated.
A quick search of the other barrels revealed several filled with copper ingots - a relic from the ancient days during which Undermountain was a dwarven mine.
Trinzia's Laboratory
The party formed up behind Push-ta and Etlenda at the copper door. Push-ta opened the door to reveal a room clad in copper. A hulking humanoid beast composed of various human and bugbear parts sewn together and covered with stretched goblin skin stood drooling and vacant in the middle of the room.
A floating animated human skull danced through the air around the room. Little electric bolts burst from its eyes and mouth, arcing against the copper floor. The skull noticed the intruders in the open doorway, "Excellent! Master Hallaster has sent me some new test subjects! I hope they last longer than those goblins did!"
Etlenda and Push-ta took one look at the electrified skull flying over the copper floor, exchange a glance, said, "Nope!" and closed the door.
Kalabash the Intoxicated
Kem's spirit guardians departed so the Mystics of Trollskull Manor retraced their steps back to the bedchamber of Kalabash. The room contained a bed, a trunk, a desk with a dozen books, and a rug on the floor.
Etlenda examined the books. They were all blank manuscripts.
Push-ta used his tools to unlock the chest. A magical ward on the chest zapped him with a bolt of electricity. The chest was empty save for a note that read: "Retirement fund. Don’t spend this on ale, Kalabash!"
Push-ta kicked the trunk and shouted, "Dammit, Kalabash!"
Tempus looked under the rug and found a magical circle drawn onto the floor. He removed the rug and examined the circle. Several of the arcane sigils had been smeared and erased. Tempus spent the better part of an hour reconstructing the required sigils and drawing them in using a magical cantrip.
As he completed the circle, a magical flare erupted and a human man appeared. The man was dressed in a shoddy robe and appeared drunk. He staggered and looked around, "Wha- wha are you people doing in my- my room?" The man saw his empty trunk and became belligerent, 'H-Hey! You've been in my- my schtuff!" He withdrew a magic wand and pointed it at Push-ta.
Etlenda, Tempus, and Push-ta responded quickly, slapping the man with the flats of their sword blades and with powerful blows from Push-ta's great club, knocking the man unconscious. The team quickly stripped the man of his spellbook and wand.
The man regained consciousness a short while later, complaining of a terrible hangover. Tempus tried to talk with him. The man, whose name was Kalabash, ignored Tempus. Kalabash, instead, gave orders to the others as if they were servants and was very confused at their noncompliance. Kalabash expressed great dismay at not being able to exit the circle. Kalabash deduced that he had been caught in a magical prison. He had no memory of how he got there.
Kem asked Kalabash what year he thought it was. Based on his answer, Kem and Tempus deduced Kalabash had been imprisoned for over 200 years.
Kalabash rubbed his head and asked if anyone knew dispel magic in order to free him. Tempus, annoyed, replied "No" before dismissing the cantrip that completed the magic circle. As the magic faded, Kalabash shouted, "No! Wait! I can-" He was cut off as he disappeared back into his magical prison.
To be Continued
DM Commentary - I had a lot of fun this session. Lots of great personalities to role-play. The players also enjoyed the break from constant combat.
My only negative comments are the lack of motivation or backstory for Kalabash. I decided not to use the alternative Kalabash from the Companion. That was just too dark and too much work. I struggled for a while trying to figure out what would allow Kalabash to escape before I found a post online that said that Dispel Magic would break a magic circle.
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