Me: Subject: Scott, do you want to play a Myconid?
Ability Score Increase. Your wisdom score is increased by 2, and your Constitution score is increased by 1
Age. Myconids reach maturity at 6 years old and can live to be a little over 1000 with the oldest ones becoming sovereigns.
Alignment. Most myconid are true neutral. Good myconid are fairly common and evil myconid are very rare
Size. 4' to 6', 20 to 30 lbs. You are of Medium size
Speed. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.
Superior Darkvision. You have Darkvision of 120ft
Sun Sickness. While in direct sunlight, unless otherwise concealed, you have disadvantage on ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws.
Pacifying Spores. You can use your action to eject spores at one creature you can see within 15 foot of you. The target must succeed on a Constitution saving throw equal to (8 + your Proficiency modifier + Constitution bonus) or be stunned for 1 minute. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. You can use this ability 1 once per every short rest.
Rapport Spores. A 20-foot radius of spores extends from the myconid. These spores can go around corners and affect only creatures with an Intelligence of 2 or higher that aren't undead, constructs, or elementals. Affected creatures can communicate telepathically with one another while they are within 30 feet of each other. The effect lasts for 1 hour.
Languages. Undercommon, Common
Jeff (who plays Kettle): He’s made a new character.
Me: I know. I was being cheeky. The odds of Scott playing a Myconid is negative 2000%.
Lucinda (who plays Angolwen): (in my best Rumpadump voice) I know, I know, we're just not all that exciting for adventurers like you... we mostly like to stay at home in Neverlight Grove... the dirt is really good there.
Jeff: (In my best Stool voice) “I want to be an adventurer! I want to be a warlord just like kettle when I grow up!”
Lucinda: "Ah, young Stool, beware - the path of the adventurer is rocky and hard on the footpads, and good poop can be hard to find."